In the Sky, You and I
by wingsofcosmos
Summary: Merely a year after their reunion in the Shrieking Shack, Sirius visits Remus on Dumbledore's orders, bearing nothing but bad news and regret. Oneshot. Part one of the 'Per Aspera Ad Astra' series.


**This is the first in a canon-divergent series revolving around Remus and Sirius. I'm guessing there's going to be around five fics in the series, though I can't be sure. Enjoy!**

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It didn't take Sirius long to reach Remus' home, and it was quite early in the morning when he arrived, pure adrenalin was the only thing that had kept Sirius moving.

The house itself was practically in the middle of nowhere; a forest not too far away, a small field of grass behind the house itself, and a river many minutes away. The only thing that showed Sirius that he was close was the sign next to an isolated road, reading 'Warning! Danger up ahead!', which Sirius knew Remus had put up there himself.

Although the house was small, from what Sirius could see, it was something he knew Remus would love. It was peaceful, with the next town only an hour or so away, something he knew Remus would have appreciated. But the house was somewhat worn-down, something Sirius realised when he was up close, paw scratching away against the front door.

It took only a few minutes for the door to open, showing a weary looking Remus who looked as if he hadn't slept in a while. Remus moved aside to let Sirius in, who promptly returned to his human form as soon as the door had closed.

"Dumbledore informed me you were coming here," Remus said, his shoulders tensed. The silence between them suddenly became thick, which was to be expected. The last time they had seen each other was at the Shrieking Shack the year before, when Remus realised Sirius's innocence. They really didn't have that much time to talk.

"Yeah," Sirius said, and was not surprised to hear how rough his voice was. He sighed. "Something happened at the end of the Third Task. Dumbledore told me to come here, and find the people from the Order, get them back together."

"What? Sirius, what happened?" Remus asked, his brows furrowed together, and guided Sirius to a small, shabby couch.

"At the end of the Task, a Portkey sent Harry and some other kid, Cedric, to a graveyard," Sirius explained, head down. "Turns out it was a trap, and Cedric was killed."

Remus' eyes widened, and his hands twitched, as if he were about to take hold of Sirius'. "I can't believe that. Cedric was a good kid." There was a moment of silence, before it was broken. "Is Harry okay?"

"He's as okay as he can be, given that," Sirius hesitated. "Wormtail was there."

Remus' eyes narrowed, and gritted his teeth, but he otherwise said nothing.

"There was some ritual he was doing, and," Sirius sighed, and covered his face with his hands. "Voldemort came back."

The silence was deafening, Remus' eyes widened disbelievingly. "No."

"I'm sorry, Remus, I wish I was lying, but I'm not," Sirius said, frowning as he removed his hands from his face, his expression grave. "He's back."

Remus closed his eyes and placed a hand over his eyes, he shook his head and let out a sigh. "This must be a nightmare."

"I wish it was," Sirius said sadly.

They stayed there in a thick, resounding silence for what felt like hours. It felt incredibly surreal for the both of them, reliving a nightmare that they would rather leave behind them. They had already lost so many people back then, and how many were they going to lose this time?

Sirius truly hoped that this was a nightmare, and that he would just wake up to a world where everyone was alive and happy and Voldemort was long gone. But that was just wishful thinking.

"Come on," Remus said after a while, his voice noticeably thick. Sirius looked up to see Remus stand up, and pulled Sirius along with him. "You look horrible. You need a bath, and probably a shave and a haircut as well."

"Remus, what about the Order?" Sirius asked, and resisted calling him 'Moony'. It was not the time for that, and he would not know how Remus would react to being called his childhood nickname for the first time after so many years.

"Really, Sirius, you look like you're about to collapse. You can contact them once you're fully rested, and clean, and even then, I'll help you," Remus said, a small smile adorning his scarred face. "I can get you something to eat later, and I'll get you a spare change of clothes, I'm sure you'll fit into them."

Remus guided Sirius to the bathroom. It was small, just enough to fit a bathtub, a toilet and a sink, with a small cabinet underneath it. He let the water run and ordered Sirius to stay while he went to fetch a change of clothing.

Sirius stared at the running water pooling in the bath, trying not to think—wanting not to think. Not about the revival of Voldemort, not the war that will come with it, nor the people that will die by his and his followers hands. It was all too much for him to handle, so much that he might break down. But Sirius didn't want that, not now, so he merely stared, mind blank.

He ignored his trembling hands, and waited for Remus to return.

When Remus walked back in, he set the clothing on the closed seat of the toilet, and told Sirius to get out of the rags he was wearing as he turned off the running water, and guided him to sit in the tub.

Sirius had no idea why Remus was assisting him with everything. Perhaps it was because Sirius looked as if he was about to collapse if he didn't have any support, or maybe it was because Remus didn't want to leave Sirius by himself after years of separation. Either way, he appreciated it immensely.

For the next half hour, Remus helped Sirius bathe, washing away the dirt and grime that had become stuck to his body with gentle hands. It felt good, to Sirius, to be taken cared of like this—to be taken cared of by Remus. It was a sensation that he hadn't felt in many, many years.

Finished with the bath, Remus helped Sirius up, drying him with a towel. He helped Sirius get dressed in loose-hanging clothes, and sat him on the edge of the bath. Sirius couldn't help but notice the sad and sombre look in Remus' eyes when he looked at him, but said nothing, merely allowing Remus to shave him and cut his hair until it reached the nape of his neck.

Throughout these proceedings, Sirius hadn't spoken a word, simply doing what Remus asked of him. He was scared of saying something—anything—that would make either of them sorrowful and depressed. But maybe it was a given, judging by their current situation.

"I'm sorry," Remus said. They were both sitting at a small, wooden table, eating food that Remus had just made. It was quiet between the two of them, the silence incredibly thick. Sirius was nibbling on a small piece of bread when Remus had spoken, but said nothing, allowing him to continue. "I'm sorry for thinking you were the traitor, for thinking it for so many years."

"I am, too," Sirius began after a moment of silence, putting down the piece of bread. "I also believed you were the traitor, and I'm so sorry for even considering the thought of it. I just… I regret it, so much. I don't think I ever will stop feeling that."

There were tears welling in Sirius' eyes, but he didn't allow them to fall, not now.

"I do, I regret it to this day," Remus said, and moved forward to hold Sirius' hand in a tight grip. "We both believed Peter's lies, and we suffered dearly for it."

"We were idiots," Sirius said, sniffing, and let his fingers intertwine with Remus' own. "We were so stubborn, letting Peter tell us those lies, believing them. He got in between us, making us stop trusting each other, and we paid for it."

It was then Sirius let the tears fall, dropping his head down, but he allowed Remus to wipe them away nonetheless.

"We did," Remus said softly. "And even so, I hadn't stopped loving you."

"What?" Sirius asked disbelievingly, looking up to meet Remus' eyes.

"I wanted to hate you, all those years you were in Azkaban, but I didn't. I was mad, disappointed, and livid at what I thought you had done, but I couldn't stop loving you. Even when we broke up, even when I stopped trusting you, I couldn't. And I hated myself more for it, how I thought you did the unthinkable, but I just couldn't stop." Remus' hold on Sirius' hand loosened, about to let go, but Sirius pulled it back, tears still in his eyes.

"Remus," Sirius murmured, and pulled Remus into an embrace. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay, Sirius, it will always be okay," Remus said, arms wrapped around Sirius, allowing him to cry into Remus' shoulder. Remus sounded as if he was going to cry as well, his head atop Sirius' own. They stayed there even until Sirius' tears subsided, and didn't move anywhere else.

"I love you, too, Remus, I always will," Sirius whispered, head still buried in Remus' shoulder.

Remus smiled.

They stayed there, wrapped up in each other's arms, and, for a moment, Sirius believed Remus' words. It was going to be okay. He allowed himself to relax, and felt content for the first time in years.


End file.
